Reflecting on Year One
Posted on June 04 2019
find what ignites within you
let your work
everything you create
be a direct extension of your heart space
more than ever
the worlds needs more of our light
go find what sparks it
and people who wholeheartedly believe in it
and use it to go out + change something
. . .
These words resonate deeply, because NSS is an extension of my heart space.
NSS is my platform to bring more light and awareness to our world. My light is sparked by many injustices, the exploitation of people and our planet. I truly believe that we can change the world, simply by being careful what we buy, who we support, and making conscious consumer choices.
So often I feel outside my comfort zone running a small business, feeling so many different emotions daily, from joy to fear. While NSS brings me so much joy, I have good and bad days, happy and sad days, days I feel energetic and empowered, and days I am stuck in fear. Though every time I get down on myself and think about quitting, I am also reminded I wouldn't change my choices or where I am. I want to live with passion, I want to challenge myself, continue to learn and grow, and have a positive impact.
I am still fearful of the risks of starting my own business, but that fear also motivates me. I eventually realized I had to take the leap, to create what I was looking for in a lifestyle brand, to pursue what I am passionate about. I am also fed up - with all the greenwashing, the ridiculous and disempowering messages we are flooded with in social and mass media, and people and companies that don't practice what they preach.
When I got laid off my full time job in July 2017 and denied unemployment insurance twice, I sat in fear and shame. It was the same month I turned 30, I fixated on the overwhelming thought that I had to start over, again. I eventually surrendered to the universe, and embraced the idea of pursuing NSS full time in November 2017. I made a business plan, one that needs a lot of updating, but it was a start. I got to work, secured financing for the first year, and started ordering for what would become my first collection - Essentials.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the NSS launch party - it's been an incredible and humbling year looking back. June has been an emotional month for me for several years. I moved to Canada 7 years ago and realized the other day that I landed in Calgary to get my student visa stamped June 2nd, 2012 and the NSS launch party was om June 2nd, 2018. In many ways June has been exciting - the month I moved to new country (I never thought I'd move for love or leave Southern California!) and the month I officially launched my little company to the public.
June is also the month that reminds me of pain and suffering. It is the anniversary of the traumatic experience losing our home during a natural disaster in 2013, only a year after I moved to Canada. While that is still the most difficult experience I've ever endured, one I am still healing from, it ultimately made me a better version of myself - stronger, more resilient and compassionate. I look at the world, work, love, people, and relationships differently, my values have changed. Through continued self work and self love practice, I feel more connected with myself, others, both my homes, communities, and our earth.
Now more than ever our world needs our love, kindness and compassion, our world needs our light, our world needs more of things that do good for people and our planet and less bull shit that perpetuates toxicity within ourselves and in our environment. By advocating for the health of our planet and the people around the world who make our goods, I hope to inspire others to also think about the ripple effect of their consumer choices, both locally and across the world.
Being an entrepreneur, starting a small business is hard as hell work, trying to grow a business and make it sustainable is harder, and trying to find the people who believe in what you do is even harder. There is so much noise in media, there is so much greenwashing, there are simply things I don't have access to as a small startup to reach the masses. It's a constant hustle uphill, I know I am strong enough to endure it, I know my intentions are pure, to bring more light to our world, to bring more awareness, and hopefully empower countless more along the way - the because reality is we must take action to save our planet. Today I read a post for World Environment Day that captures the truth - "you have two homes, earth and your body - take care of them both."